Lately, we’ve been watching political and corporate leaders seemingly shift their values. Leaders who once committed to grappling with balancing employee support along with profit now seem to have publicly abandoned that commitment. Seeing this unfold in real time made us cringe.
In our culture, money signals competence, making these leaders feel confident that the public would see them as strategic, not contradictory. Watching leaders abruptly change their values, relying on external validation rather than an internal compass, is deeply unsettling. Their decisions don’t seem to be anchored in principles but in risk mitigation, optics, and short-term reward. And when leaders change their line in the sand based on what serves them in the moment, the disconnect is impossible to ignore.
That’s the cringe. And it’s more common than we like to admit.
From Cringe to Shame
Cringe is that moment of embarrassment or awkwardness when we witness someone else behaving in a way that contradicts who they claim to be. It’s the emotional tension of watching a leader act out of step with their values while pretending nothing’s changed.
But cringe can become something else entirely—shame—when it’s no longer just about them, but about us.
Employees don’t just observe leadership decisions from a distance. They are impacted by them, shaped by them, and often expected to defend or carry them out. When a leader’s actions conflict with the organization’s stated values, and those actions go unnamed, employees can begin to wonder:
“What does this say about where I work?”
“What does this say about me for working here?”
That’s shame. And it runs deeper than discomfort. It undermines trust, pride, and a sense of belonging. It leaves employees not just disengaged, but disillusioned. And when that shame is compounded by silence, employees begin to wonder if the only real value is self-preservation.
Integrity Isn’t About Perfection
The truth is, it’s normal for values and priorities to shift as circumstances change. Organizations evolve, external pressures emerge, and priorities must adapt. Leadership isn’t about rigidly holding to past commitments—it’s about navigating change with integrity.
If I think I know you—your values, your commitments—and you act in direct contrast to that, I’ll feel the gap. That’s natural. That’s human. But what deepens the discomfort is the silence that follows because you may now be asking me to accept your unacknowledged shift as if nothing has changed.
When an organization doesn’t have clear standards and systems—or abruptly changes them without explanation—employees won’t always assume it’s a misstep. More often, they’ll assume the shift is intentional, and that approval or reward has become the new compass.
Without clear accountability or transparency, people will fill in the blanks with their own assumptions about leadership’s true priorities. And when those assumptions lean toward survival, not values, employees begin to protect themselves instead of investing in the culture.
The Power of Naming the Moment
The antidote to the cringe—and the shame it can create—isn’t avoidance. It’s acknowledgment.
A leader who recognizes the disconnect and takes responsibility immediately shifts the dynamic. When a leader owns a misstep or a change in direction—whether it’s an unintentional slight, a decision that lacked clarity, or a departure from the organization’s stated values—it signals to everyone:
- We aren’t pretending this didn’t happen.
- This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being accountable.
- Integrity is something we practice—together.
When values are clearly communicated and rooted in shared systems, employees don’t have to guess where leadership stands. They don’t have to wonder if today’s decision is an outlier or a new direction. They know, because it’s been named.
The Role of Systems in Navigating the Cringe
There’s nothing easy about realizing you’re out of alignment with your values—or that others may perceive you that way. But discomfort isn’t the problem. A lack of structure is.
Leaders don’t have to navigate these moments alone or rely on instinct. Clear systems and structures—grounded in shared values—are there to support you. They provide the space to pause, reflect, and ensure alignment before the disconnect becomes a culture-wide crisis.
When these systems are in place, leaders can:
- Make time to reflect on shifting values and communicate transparently.
- Ensure employees have the context and clarity to understand decisions.
- Create space to address misalignment before it spirals into disengagement.
When we build systems rooted in accountability and values, we don’t have to perform integrity—we can practice it. We don’t have to fear discomfort—we can lean into it with clarity. And we don’t have to leave people in shame—we can lead with connection.
We’d love to partner with you in building a culturally and financially stable organization.